We'd always said that when we were done having kids, my husband would go in for the snip. I'm not sure who's idea it was first or when it first came up. It just kind of made sense between us. After Little Boss was born, hubby started looking up more information about vasectomies, and we decided for sure.
It took me awhile to accept that we're done. We always said that we wanted at least three kids, but no more than five. We have three beautiful healthy children, and we remember the one we don't have with us. Being told by medical professionals and experts that we shouldn't have more kids (due to my extensive scar tissue, high risk of another ectopic pregnancy, etc.) and deciding it on our own is different though. After a lot of discussion and thought and meditation and prayer and time with my family, I feel good about it. We're done. Our family is complete.
So he went in for the snip. He was remarkably calm about the whole thing and seemed to take it pretty well in stride. Now we just have to wait for the tests to make sure that it took.
It is a little bittersweet, and it's weird to think that we can't have kids anymore. I'll never take another pregnancy test or scrutinize the screen at the ultrasound to find out what we're having or hold our newborn baby with their special newborn baby smell. On the other hand, I'm really excited not to have to worry about contraception anymore, and to know. We're finished having kids.
In the time that we've been married, I've spent most of it either pregnant or breastfeeding. It will be a change, but a good one. Our family's moving on.
Showing posts with label contraception. Show all posts
Showing posts with label contraception. Show all posts
Tuesday, 11 October 2011
Wednesday, 30 March 2011
The Sterilization Issue
I thought I should follow up on my last post about meeting with the consultant. The specialist who is overseeing my maternity care offered to sterilize me while I'm already cut open for the Cesarean.
I was not expecting him to discuss this and my immediate response was to say no.
After thinking about it further and discussing it with my husband, we definitely decided against it. Even though I think this will be our last kid, neither of us felt right about me being sterilized (for multiple reasons).
At my next appointment with my midwife, I mentioned it. She said that the doctor had offered to sterilize some of her other patients as well. In the midwife's opinion, this was a really bad idea for several reasons. First of all, it's not fair to ask a pregnant woman to make that decision. Secondly, the failure rate for sterilizations performed during c-sections is pretty high. In other words, there's a higher than normal chance that it won't even work. Thirdly, it makes recovery even more complicated and delays the time until the mother is able to hold/breastfeed/bond with/care for their newborn baby.
Logically, I can understand why it was offered to me. I don't have a great birth track record as I've had 2 c-sections already (one an emergency and one a no-alternative elective) and an ectopic pregnancy. Emotionally and morally, though, I feel that it was wrong to suddenly push that decision upon me. It particularly bothers me that there was no preparation for that discussion and no further information given about it. Normally for a medical procedure you'll be given information to study beforehand and be able to make an informed decision. This was a surprise.
Women who have c-sections often struggle with mixed feelings as it is. Pregnancy and giving birth is supposed to be such a natural process. It is, after all, what our bodies are meant to do. When you have to have a c-section, it can leave you feeling inadequate or like a failure. It can completely change your birth experience and the way that you begin motherhood (not to mention that the recovery influences your first weeks with your baby). I'm grateful that they are able to do c-sections as I couldn't have had my kids otherwise. However, it's taken me awhile to feel completely at peace with having sections. I really don't need the added emotional baggage of being sterilized at the same time, and I imagine most women would find it difficult as well (even if they want the birth control).
I was not expecting him to discuss this and my immediate response was to say no.
After thinking about it further and discussing it with my husband, we definitely decided against it. Even though I think this will be our last kid, neither of us felt right about me being sterilized (for multiple reasons).
At my next appointment with my midwife, I mentioned it. She said that the doctor had offered to sterilize some of her other patients as well. In the midwife's opinion, this was a really bad idea for several reasons. First of all, it's not fair to ask a pregnant woman to make that decision. Secondly, the failure rate for sterilizations performed during c-sections is pretty high. In other words, there's a higher than normal chance that it won't even work. Thirdly, it makes recovery even more complicated and delays the time until the mother is able to hold/breastfeed/bond with/care for their newborn baby.
Logically, I can understand why it was offered to me. I don't have a great birth track record as I've had 2 c-sections already (one an emergency and one a no-alternative elective) and an ectopic pregnancy. Emotionally and morally, though, I feel that it was wrong to suddenly push that decision upon me. It particularly bothers me that there was no preparation for that discussion and no further information given about it. Normally for a medical procedure you'll be given information to study beforehand and be able to make an informed decision. This was a surprise.
Women who have c-sections often struggle with mixed feelings as it is. Pregnancy and giving birth is supposed to be such a natural process. It is, after all, what our bodies are meant to do. When you have to have a c-section, it can leave you feeling inadequate or like a failure. It can completely change your birth experience and the way that you begin motherhood (not to mention that the recovery influences your first weeks with your baby). I'm grateful that they are able to do c-sections as I couldn't have had my kids otherwise. However, it's taken me awhile to feel completely at peace with having sections. I really don't need the added emotional baggage of being sterilized at the same time, and I imagine most women would find it difficult as well (even if they want the birth control).
Wednesday, 29 September 2010
Contraception
It had been awhile since I had to worry about contraception. My husband and I were trying for a baby, and then I was pregnant. Suddenly, afterwards, we were stuck worrying about contraception again.
Has anyone else had to try to figure out which contraceptive is best after an ectopic pregnancy? I didn't want an implant or anything like that for a lot of reasons. I feel like my hormones have been through enough already this year, so I don't feel like going back on the pill (at least not yet). In the end, we settled on the most basic method: condoms.
Maybe in the long term we'll switch, but I still don't know what the long term holds. I think that, eventually, we'll probably try one more time for another baby. I don't know when we'll be ready though.
Has anyone else had to try to figure out which contraceptive is best after an ectopic pregnancy? I didn't want an implant or anything like that for a lot of reasons. I feel like my hormones have been through enough already this year, so I don't feel like going back on the pill (at least not yet). In the end, we settled on the most basic method: condoms.
Maybe in the long term we'll switch, but I still don't know what the long term holds. I think that, eventually, we'll probably try one more time for another baby. I don't know when we'll be ready though.
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