The Birth!

I just spent about an hour writing up a lovely blog post with the whole birth story.  Then I hit the publish button and the whole thing inexplicably disappeared.  So now don't have the time or the inclination to rewrite the whole thing,

I'll just sum up the major points.

It was a planned c-section with a spinal block.  It wasn't planned for the doctors to still have to use forceps.  (Luckily there was only a small red mark on one side of his head and it faded quickly.)

My husband got to cut the cord.  Then they laid our little boy across my chest.  He cried and wriggled and gurgled.  I got to enjoy skin on skin contact with him.  My husband put out a hand to help steady him, and he immediately grabbed on to one of daddy's fingers.  He kept holding on until he had to be moved.

The little boss was covered in blood and vernix, and absolutely perfect.  After years of waiting, I was thrilled to finally meet our little boy.

Pre-birth/At the Hospital

After a lot of waiting and intermittent blogging, the big day finally came.  I said in my last post that he was born, but didn't really give any details.  So here's my birth post.  It's a bit belated as I've been enjoying time with my newborn while trying not to neglect the rest of the family.

As it was a booked c--section, we knew when the birth was going to be way in advance.  The night before going in to the hospital I took my first batch of medications and started fasting.  The morning of the birth I took my next batch before going in.  (For planned c-sections they give you things like ant-nausea med's to take in advance.  The medications should help you to be more comfortable and also help to avoid complications.) 

First thing in the morning we dropped off the girls to be watched for the day for us and then went and checked in to the maternity ward at the hospital.  I had to fill in standard hospital admission forms which was entertaining as the nurse had to ask me questions like, "Is there any chance you could be pregnant?" and whether I was wearing a hair piece or dentures.   Then we went through the paperwork for the c-section. 

My husband and I were shown to a hospital bed in one of the wards to wait while I was prepped for surgery and we waited for our turn in the operating room/theatre.  It was all very relaxed, and they took their time talking to us and getting things ready.  It was so different from my previous experiences being rushed in for emergency surgery.

Some of the things that took place during this time:

-The anesthesiologist came to discuss the spinal with me and have me sign more consent forms.

-I changed into a very stylish hospital gown.  And by very stylish I mean flapping open under the ties and printed in an orange and brown pattern.  Weirdly it had labels on it telling you that it was for hospital use only, not to be removed from the hospital, etc.  If anyone has other uses for them or wants to steal them I really don't think I want to know about it.  Also my husband had to go wash his hands, etc. and change into scrubs (including hat and slippers).

-My blood pressure, temperature, etc. were checked.  They also listened to the baby's heartbeat.

-My husband and I played several rounds of backgammon on his phone.  I don't remember who won.

-They put tape over my wedding ring and made sure that I wasn't wearing any other jewelry.

Then it was our turn.  The nurse led us down to the c-section birth room.  I got to walk there.

Preparing for the Birth

I had the best plans for being totally prepared in advance for my baby to be born.  I was going to have loads of home cooked meals stored in the fridge and freezer, an immaculate house, good hair, etc.  In short, everything was going to be perfect and ready before he was born.  Obviously this is real life (my real life to be more specific) and not a TV movie, so everything isn't as pristine as I had hoped for. 

However, we are ready.  I'm ready to meet my little boy.

Knowing that I'm booked in for an elective Cesarean makes preparing for the birth a little different from preparing for a "normal" delivery. 

Most pregnancy books/websites/etc. will give you helpful lists of what to pack in your hospital bags.  In my experience, all of these are focused on what women need during labor, and they're totally unhelpful if you're having a c-section.  I packed two hospital bags: one for me & one for baby.  It was actually exciting to pack them together with my husband.  Mostly we used common, sense on what to pack, but we did look up a couple of lists to make sure we weren't forgetting anything.  (Click here or here for sample hospital bag lists specifically for Cesarean births.)  As this is my 3rd section, I knew from experience to pack snacks (for both parents) and to pack normal (preferably black and baggy) not disposable maternity underwear (these tend to hit right on a c-section scar line).

There are some preparations we're being sure to do, like having my husband help me shave (way better than having a stranger dry shave you on a hospital bed).  Also trying to eat well (or at least healthy other than the tub of Ben & Jerry's we treated ourselves to) and get some rest.

Here are some resources I found on-line on preparing for a C-section:
"Preparing for a C-Section"
"A Step-by-step Guide to Preparing for Your C-Section"
"Preparing Yourself For a C-section Delivery"

The Sterilization Issue

I thought I should follow up on my last post about meeting with the consultant.  The specialist who is overseeing my maternity care offered to sterilize me while I'm already cut open for the Cesarean.

I was not expecting him to discuss this and my immediate response was to say no.

After thinking about it further and discussing it with my husband, we definitely decided against it.  Even though I think this will be our last kid, neither of us felt right about me being sterilized (for multiple reasons).

At my next appointment with my midwife, I mentioned it.  She said that the doctor had offered to sterilize some of her other patients as well.  In the midwife's opinion, this was a really bad idea for several reasons.  First of all, it's not fair to ask a pregnant woman to make that decision.  Secondly, the failure rate for sterilizations performed during c-sections is pretty high.  In other words, there's a higher than normal chance that it won't even work.  Thirdly, it makes recovery even more complicated and delays the time until the mother is able to hold/breastfeed/bond with/care for their newborn baby.

Logically, I can understand why it was offered to me.  I don't have a great birth track record as I've had 2 c-sections already (one an emergency and one a no-alternative elective) and an ectopic pregnancy.  Emotionally and morally, though, I feel that it was wrong to suddenly push that decision upon me.  It particularly bothers me that there was no preparation for that discussion and no further information given about it.  Normally for a medical procedure you'll be given information to study beforehand and be able to make an informed decision.  This was a surprise. 

Women who have c-sections often struggle with mixed feelings as it is.  Pregnancy and giving birth is supposed to be such a natural process.  It is, after all, what our bodies are meant to do.  When you have to have a c-section, it can leave you feeling inadequate or like a failure.  It can completely change your birth experience and the way that you begin motherhood (not to mention that the recovery influences your first weeks with your baby).  I'm grateful that they are able to do c-sections as I couldn't have had my kids otherwise.  However, it's taken me awhile to feel completely at peace with having sections.  I really don't need the added emotional baggage of being sterilized at the same time, and I imagine most women would find it difficult as well (even if they want the birth control).

Talking to the Specialist

We recently met with the specialist who is overseeing my pregnancy care.  I also have a midwife that I regularly see, and have met with different doctors in the specialist's team.  He's the one ultimately in charge of my care, though, and who will be responsible for the birth. 

This was our last meeting with the specialist before the birth, and we got to schedule the C-section.  Most of the appointment was pretty standard and exactly what I expected (I had the same specialist with Angel and with the ectopic pregnancy, so I'm used to him, plus this will be my 3rd C-section).  One thing he said was completely unexpected though.  He offered, while I was already open on the operating table for the section, to go ahead and sterilize me.

I think that was his not-so-subtle way of saying I shouldn't have any more kids.

Even though we're pretty sure that this will be our last baby, neither my husband nor I really feel comfortable with this option.  I also feel like it was kind of sprung on us without a lot of discussion or information or time to think it over.  We said no thanks.

Have any of you been given this option?  What did you do?

A little bit of our history

(Picture of rings from the Silver Wedding Rings Website.)

  I met my now-husband when I was a grad. student.  I was very focused on my goals (education, career, etc.).  I wanted to settle down, get married and have a family someday.  The key word being someday.  Then I met my husband.  There was instant chemistry between us, but it took us awhile to admit it.  We became good friends first and then falling in love was the most natural thing in the world.  It didn't take long for us to realize that we always wanted to be together and get engaged.

While we were engaged, it seemed as though we talked for hours and hours about absolutely everything.  One of the things we discussed a lot was having a family.  We both really felt like we wanted to start trying for a baby right after we got married.  We also discussed how many kids we wanted, parenting ideas, etc.  We had a magical engagement and then a beautiful, elegant wedding.

Our wedding night was our first try for #1.  It wasn't that night (not that you want to know), but it didn't take long.  Ten months after getting married, our beautiful little girl was born.  I had a great pregnancy.  Other than getting really tired in the first trimester and roughly the size of a whale by the last trimester, there were no real concerns or complaints.  She was a really active baby in the womb, and wriggled and kicked constantly (especially to music).  It was pretty common to see a hand or foot pressed against my tummy.  She also would try to push things off of my tummy.   

Unfortunately the birth was less straightforward.  She was two weeks late before I went into labour.  I had wanted a natural home birth, so my husband called the midwife and we started walking around the neighbourhood to try to get labour established.  Nothing went to plan though.  Instead of having my midwife with us the whole time, a midwife we had never met before left us alone for hours at a time and seemed annoyed when we would call her.  I was in labour for a long time and nothing really seemed to be happening.  After over 24 hours of labour, I started puking and just felt that something was wrong.  We demanded that a new midwife come check, and she sent us rushing into hospital in an ambulance.  Our baby was in distress and I had to have an emergency C-section.  It is absolutely amazing how quickly they can deliver a baby when necessary.  Within minutes of signing the forms, I was in the operating room and they had delivered her.  She wasn't breathing when she was born and had to be resuscitated.  There was also concern about infection by Strep B.

Luckily, she turned out to be just fine.  Once they got her taken care of and me sewn back together, I started breastfeeding her and it seemed so easy and natural.  Our beautiful baby girl is now getting ready to start school this September!  She is the sweetest child and really does believe that she is a princess (like daddy always calls her).

When Princess was a toddler, we decided we were ready for another kid (deciding was a long process.  Maybe I'll discuss that another time).  Again we didn't seem to have any fertility problems.  It only took about two months to conceive.  This pregnancy was generally good, but had some more concerning times.  At 13 weeks, I woke up one morning to find my legs and the bed covered in blood.  While I panicked, my husband started calling the midwife, OBGYN, etc.  The midwife basically said that I was miscarrying and that there was nothing they could do about it.  No one would bring us in for a scan or to check.  Finally he got ahold of our normal family doctor, who brought me in and found a heartbeat.  Thankfully, I did not miscarry.  It was probably breakthrough bleeding.

Once again, my due date came and went.  They tried everything to get me to go into labour.  Eventually it became obvious that nothing was going to get labour going, and I had to have another C-section.  Even then our daughter didn't want to be born.  They had to use forceps during the section!  She was absolutely perfect though and fine and healthy. 

Her daddy calls her angel (even though she's way more mischievous than her big sister), and now she's a toddler.  There's about a two years' age difference between them, and it's a really nice gap.  We've never had any real problems with jealousy or anything like that, and they adore each other.