The Snip

We'd always said that when we were done having kids, my husband would go in for the snip.  I'm not sure who's idea it was first or when it first came up.  It just kind of made sense between us.  After Little Boss was born, hubby started looking up more information about vasectomies, and we decided for sure.

It took me awhile to accept that we're done.  We always said that we wanted at least three kids, but no more than five.  We have three beautiful healthy children, and we remember the one we don't have with us.  Being told  by medical professionals and experts that we shouldn't have more kids (due to my extensive scar tissue, high risk of another ectopic pregnancy, etc.) and deciding it on our own is different though.  After a lot of discussion and thought and meditation and prayer and time with my family, I feel good about it.  We're done.  Our family is complete.

So he went in for the snip.  He was remarkably calm about the whole thing and seemed to take it pretty well in stride.  Now we just have to wait for the tests to make sure that it took.

It is a little bittersweet, and it's weird to think that we can't have kids anymore.  I'll never take another pregnancy test or scrutinize the screen at the ultrasound to find out what we're having or hold our newborn baby with their special newborn baby smell.  On the other hand, I'm really excited not to have to worry about contraception anymore, and to know.  We're finished having kids.

In the time that we've been  married, I've spent most of it either pregnant or breastfeeding.  It will be a change, but a good one.  Our family's moving on.

Five Month Old Update

Little Boss's favorite cuddly toy.  His favorite toys are all Eeyore (this one, a little Eeyore rattle, and a noisy one).

Little Boss is five months old!  He's growing like crazy and getting huge. Seriously. He wears a mix of 6-9 and even 9-12 month old clothes.  He's not fat, he's just big. He's so long that he doesn't fit the same way when I'm holding him anymore.  When I breastfeed he kicks his legs around by my side, and when he snuggles against my chest now he stretches out everywhere rather than resting in a tiny bundle against me.

He's adorable.

It's been awhile...

I realized that it's been awhile since I blogged on here.  I didn't really plan on giving it up or avoiding it, but as the days, then weeks, then months went by, it was just easier I guess.  There's so much on here, so much honesty in this blog and so many of my emotions, that sometimes it's hard to confront it.  I feel like I need time, solitude, and quiet in order to do this blog justice, and I don't often have any of those things. 

It's been over a year since my baby died.  I know there was no way to save them, but I still remember the feeling of walking into the operating room, walking in knowing that my tiny baby's heart was beating and they were alive and growing.  And I walked in and laid down on the table, and when I woke up there was just emptiness, emptiness around me and within me, and no baby anymore.  I know that, being an ectopic pregnancy, there was no way to help my baby.  They could never have made it long enough to have a chance at surviving, and if I hadn't have gone in for the surgery, I would have died too.  I know that.  Sometimes knowing and feeling aren't the closest friends, though.  It still hurts.  It still aches.

Even though I'll always notice that absence, I'm surrounded my so much life.  My oldest, Princess, is now in first grade.  She's learning to read and forming social circles and using slang and growing up so quickly.  Angel is a preschooler and is so vibrant.  She's so alive and excited about life that it changes the way the I view the world, just from being near her.  Little Boss is growing by the minute.  He's four months old and I already look at him and wonder what happened to my newborn.  He can roll himself over with ease now (and does constantly, even when strapped in a chair, in true Houdini type style).  He's not strong enough yet, but he desperately wants to crawl and has just learned to lift up his bottom and stomach.  He smiles and laughs and clings onto my finger with his little hands.  He opens his mouth when you ask for a kiss and slobbers all over your cheek.

I am amazed by life. 

Just checking

I haven't had a period for well over a year...coming up on a year and a half even.  I was pregnant, experienced tragedy through an ectopic pregnancy, got pregnant again before restarting my period, and then had a beautiful baby boy.  In the past my cycle has always been really regular and started back up really quickly (sometimes too quickly).  Now my baby's several months old.  I feel pretty much back to normal, even if some of my clothes are tighter than I'd like.  But (and this is a big but) I still haven't started my period again.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I'm not enjoying the break from it and everything.  As the weeks and then months went by, though, it started to make me wonder.  I didn't think I was, but just wanted to be sure.

My fantastic other half bought a pregnancy test on the way home from work one day.  He gave it to me and said something to the effect of, "If it's positive, I'll be surprised and a little scared, but really happy.  If it's negative, I'll be relieved to know and happy.  I bought this (holding up a bottle of non-alcoholic sparkly drink) so we can celebrate either way."

I did the pee on the stick routine, waited for an impossibly long three minutes, and got the results.

I'm not pregnant.

A Year Later

It's been a year now.  It's been a whole year since losing my baby in an ectopic pregnancy.

In some ways, it still seems so raw a wound.  I can think about him unexpectedly and get swaddled in grief for the baby that I didn't get to hold.  I can't help but wonder "what if" at times.  He'd be walking by now.  A year later and it's still hard.

At the same time, the past year has brought more joy than I ever could have anticipated.  I'm holding my beautiful healthy baby boy as I type, and now my family feels complete.  I've found peace and a certain level of acceptance if not understanding.

I have learned so much from each of my four children, including the one who's gone.  One of the things that he taught me is hope.

Breastfeeding

There seem to be debates all over the place about breast versus bottle feeding.  I've seen mothers who proclaim "breast if best" as if it is a battle cry rather than a way to care for your children.  The new thing seems to be the term "full term" breastfeeding, which--as far as I've been exposed to it--seems to imply that you're cheating your child if you don't breastfeed them for two whole years. 

Likewise there are those who don't want to be judged for not breastfeeding.  Some people medically can't (like an epileptic friend of mine who is not allowed to breastfeed her baby because of her medications), some people have other reasons for not breastfeeding.  The two groups seem to clash a lot on parenting forums, etc.

I don't want to make this all political or start a fight.  I just feel like a should post about feeding my baby.

Little Boss is still completely breastfed.  Both of his big sisters were exclusively breastfed until six months (Angel did start getting some bottles of expressed milk at around five months).  I plan on exclusively breastfeeding Little Boss until he's six months and can start a few solids.  After that, we'll see what happens. 

I believe in baby-led weaning, meaning that he'll slowly stop breastfeeding as he loses interest in it.  Princess completely stopped breastfeeding around her first birthday.  She went down to just a feed before bed at night, and the nights she fed became more and more infrequent until she stopped.  Angel stopped when she was seven months.  Once she started having bottles and sippy cups and real food, she lost interest in breastfeeding.

For me, breastfeeding has always been a very natural thing.  I fed my babies as soon as possible after they were born.  With Little Boss, I fed him in the private recovery room as soon after the section as I could trust myself to hold him.  He rooted around for a few minutes, bobbing his head around looking for milk.  His little newborn head looked so tiny next to my huge milk-filled breast.  There's no denying that, health wise, breastfeeding really is best for both of us.  It's also best psychologically for me.  It gives me a quiet time to cuddle him, to be forced to sit still and just enjoy holding my baby.  I find breastfeeding easy, and definitely less hassle than sterilizing bottles, making formula, etc. 

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know new parents are supposed to be sleep deprived zombies.  People with little babies are supposed to complain about how tired they are and be in a twilight zone of night-time feeds and diaper changes.

The thing is...I'm not.

I can remember being exhausted at times when Princess and Angel were babies.  I know that times will come when Little Boss will keep me up all night (we still have teething to look forward to, after all).  Right now, though, I'm pretty spoiled.  Little Boss is a star sleeper.

He's two months old now.  For awhile now we've had a pretty good routine where he'd go to sleep between 9 and 10.  At midnight (about the time I've been going to sleep) I give him a feed.  Then he sleeps until 5 am.  At that point he gets another drink of milk and then goes back to sleep for another couple of hours before waking up for the day.

Last night he dropped the 5:00 feed.  My two-month-old slept for seven straight hours through the night.  I fed him at 7:00, then he went back to sleep until about 9:00.

I'm the luckiest parent alive right now.

In addition to luck, I'm a firm believer in bedtime routines and cluster feeding before bed.

A Story About Poo

Sadly this is a story about Poo as in excrement and not Pooh as in the cute bear who likes honey.

Early the other morning the little boss woke up hungry.  He normally wakes up for a feed between 5:00 and 5:30, so it wasn't anything out of the ordinary.  I fed him, and then my husband volunteered to burp and change him.  It's turning into a lovely, early morning family moment.

Then he decides to just change him on the bed.  So he starts changing him.  Midway through changing, Little Boss starts to poo.  I mean serious poo.  It squirts everywhere.  You might think from little tiny baby nappies that this wouldn't make much of a mess.  You would be wrong.

Poo ended up on Little Boss and his clothes, all over our bedding (including pillows), all down my husband's arm and side, on my book, on the nursing cushion...  Every time we thought that we'd cleaned it all up, we'd find something else with baby poo on it.

Sometimes baby's are just the most adorable thing on the planet.  Sometimes they're the most disgusting things on the planet.  And sometimes they manage to be both at once.

Just in case you wanted a story about the other type of Pooh, I'll throw that in too.

Princess and Angel both have Winnie the Pooh teddy bears.  In fact, I think they have multiple Pooh bears and most of the rest of the Hundred Acre Wood as well.  As Little Boss was napping (having worn himself out pooing all over our bedroom), Angel tip-toed up to his bed carrying a small Winnie the Pooh teddy.  Very carefully she laid it in bed next to him and then tucked them both in with a baby blanket.  She noticed me as she was tip-toeing away again.  "I'm sharing my teddy," she said, "I love my brother."

As Winnie the Pooh put it, "Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart."   

Little Hands

What is it about little baby hands? 

I love looking at my newborn's hands.  They are so small, but perfectly formed.  He has long fingers-just like his daddy's.  As he's still a newborn, he moves his hands around a lot without having real control over them.  Sometimes he'll punch himself in the eye and then glare at his hand as if to say "What did you do that for?".  To his sister Angel's delight, he wriggles sometimes so that it looks like he's waving at us.  The Little Boss also likes to grab onto my clothes when he's breastfeeding.

The one thing that he does have control over is holding hands.  He likes to hold hands...only he's so small that it's not really holding hands.  It takes his whole hand to hold on to one of my fingers.  In fact, when he was first born he gripped on to one of daddy's fingers and held on with surprising strength.  He likes to fall asleep in my lap or on my chest clinging on to one of my fingers.  I think it makes him feel secure being able to hold on to us.

If you feel like a bad parent, read this to feel better...

So it's an ordinary afternoon.  I'm breastfeeding baby and the girls have been playing a game together.  When Angel disappeared from the room for a few minutes, I didn't think anything of it.  I just figured she was getting another toy for their elaborate game (which seemed to involved as many different toys spread across the floor as possible).  I didn't get worried until she started crying, and even then I didn't think it was anything serious.  I could hear her walking back into the room with me, so I didn't even bother getting up at first.

Then she came in holding her eye.  "I was putting on make-up," she sobbed, "and it got in my eye and it hurts."  I looked at her and realized that she was not just putting on makeup.  She had found a bottle of sparkly nail varnish and had used it to try to do her eye make up.  That's right.  She had painted all around her eyes with nail polish.  Glittery pink nail polish, to be precise.  I did the obvious thing and started screaming for my other half to come help.

It took two of us, the sink, and a lot of wet wipes to get her eyes (mostly) clean.  Let me tell you---nail polish does not come out of eyelashes easily.  Also, stupid sparkly nail polish means that even if you manage to get the polish mostly off, your toddler still ends up with glitter all over them (and potentially in their eyes).  Since she had painted around her eyes, we couldn't use anything like nail polish remover to try to get it off.

Luckily, thankfully, miraculously she did not actually get any of the nail varnish on her eyeball (as far as we could tell). 

Sometimes I feel like I'm really on top of things and a good parent...then inevitably something like this happens.  The funny thing is that I am not a yummy mummy.  I don't normally wear nail polish.  I had just painted my nails for the first time in about six months, and so had pulled out the nail polish from its dusty hiding place in my bedroom.  I guess I'm going back to my normal, nail-coloured-nails again from now on.

Moral of the day: toddlers and nail varnish do not mix...or at least they shouldn't.

The Birth!

I just spent about an hour writing up a lovely blog post with the whole birth story.  Then I hit the publish button and the whole thing inexplicably disappeared.  So now don't have the time or the inclination to rewrite the whole thing,

I'll just sum up the major points.

It was a planned c-section with a spinal block.  It wasn't planned for the doctors to still have to use forceps.  (Luckily there was only a small red mark on one side of his head and it faded quickly.)

My husband got to cut the cord.  Then they laid our little boy across my chest.  He cried and wriggled and gurgled.  I got to enjoy skin on skin contact with him.  My husband put out a hand to help steady him, and he immediately grabbed on to one of daddy's fingers.  He kept holding on until he had to be moved.

The little boss was covered in blood and vernix, and absolutely perfect.  After years of waiting, I was thrilled to finally meet our little boy.

Pre-birth/At the Hospital

After a lot of waiting and intermittent blogging, the big day finally came.  I said in my last post that he was born, but didn't really give any details.  So here's my birth post.  It's a bit belated as I've been enjoying time with my newborn while trying not to neglect the rest of the family.

As it was a booked c--section, we knew when the birth was going to be way in advance.  The night before going in to the hospital I took my first batch of medications and started fasting.  The morning of the birth I took my next batch before going in.  (For planned c-sections they give you things like ant-nausea med's to take in advance.  The medications should help you to be more comfortable and also help to avoid complications.) 

First thing in the morning we dropped off the girls to be watched for the day for us and then went and checked in to the maternity ward at the hospital.  I had to fill in standard hospital admission forms which was entertaining as the nurse had to ask me questions like, "Is there any chance you could be pregnant?" and whether I was wearing a hair piece or dentures.   Then we went through the paperwork for the c-section. 

My husband and I were shown to a hospital bed in one of the wards to wait while I was prepped for surgery and we waited for our turn in the operating room/theatre.  It was all very relaxed, and they took their time talking to us and getting things ready.  It was so different from my previous experiences being rushed in for emergency surgery.

Some of the things that took place during this time:

-The anesthesiologist came to discuss the spinal with me and have me sign more consent forms.

-I changed into a very stylish hospital gown.  And by very stylish I mean flapping open under the ties and printed in an orange and brown pattern.  Weirdly it had labels on it telling you that it was for hospital use only, not to be removed from the hospital, etc.  If anyone has other uses for them or wants to steal them I really don't think I want to know about it.  Also my husband had to go wash his hands, etc. and change into scrubs (including hat and slippers).

-My blood pressure, temperature, etc. were checked.  They also listened to the baby's heartbeat.

-My husband and I played several rounds of backgammon on his phone.  I don't remember who won.

-They put tape over my wedding ring and made sure that I wasn't wearing any other jewelry.

Then it was our turn.  The nurse led us down to the c-section birth room.  I got to walk there.

He's Here!

I am happy to announce that our little boy finally arrived!  The little boss was born recently (I'll do some separate posts about the birth soon).  He's healthy and happy, and I'm recovering surprisingly well.  To sum up...he's perfect.

I'm sorry that you don't get a peek at his handsome face, but here's a peek at lovely baby hands & feet.  I just love his long toes and fingers.  Angel keeps picking up his hands & feet making comments like, "He has hands! I'm holding his hand!" and "He has lots of toes!".

Preparing for the Birth

I had the best plans for being totally prepared in advance for my baby to be born.  I was going to have loads of home cooked meals stored in the fridge and freezer, an immaculate house, good hair, etc.  In short, everything was going to be perfect and ready before he was born.  Obviously this is real life (my real life to be more specific) and not a TV movie, so everything isn't as pristine as I had hoped for. 

However, we are ready.  I'm ready to meet my little boy.

Knowing that I'm booked in for an elective Cesarean makes preparing for the birth a little different from preparing for a "normal" delivery. 

Most pregnancy books/websites/etc. will give you helpful lists of what to pack in your hospital bags.  In my experience, all of these are focused on what women need during labor, and they're totally unhelpful if you're having a c-section.  I packed two hospital bags: one for me & one for baby.  It was actually exciting to pack them together with my husband.  Mostly we used common, sense on what to pack, but we did look up a couple of lists to make sure we weren't forgetting anything.  (Click here or here for sample hospital bag lists specifically for Cesarean births.)  As this is my 3rd section, I knew from experience to pack snacks (for both parents) and to pack normal (preferably black and baggy) not disposable maternity underwear (these tend to hit right on a c-section scar line).

There are some preparations we're being sure to do, like having my husband help me shave (way better than having a stranger dry shave you on a hospital bed).  Also trying to eat well (or at least healthy other than the tub of Ben & Jerry's we treated ourselves to) and get some rest.

Here are some resources I found on-line on preparing for a C-section:
"Preparing for a C-Section"
"A Step-by-step Guide to Preparing for Your C-Section"
"Preparing Yourself For a C-section Delivery"

Full Term & Things to Remember

Here's me full term.  Yes, I'm huge.  Yes, I'm counting down the days.

As my pregnancy days are numbered, here are some things that I want to remember about this pregnancy.

-This baby loves the sound of his daddy's voice.  He always responds perfectly on cue when my hubby talks to him.  He can be quiet all day and then start wriggling around in excitement when daddy gets home and starts talking to me.  (My husband jokes that this is probably the only time in his life when he'll listen to his dad this well, but I know it makes him happy.)

-In general I'm not overly affected by serious or weird food cravings.  At various points during this pregnancy, though, I have eaten huge amounts of fresh lychees, apple flavored rice cakes, and peanut m&m's. 

-Yes, soon I will have three kids fighting for my time and attention.  Ever since we told them, though, our girls have been very excited to have a baby in the family.  They talk a lot about the baby and what it will be like after he's born (usually including nice things they can do for him, like let him play the prince in their games or sing to him).

-This is probably the last time I'll be pregnant.  I want to remember the miracle of feeling them kick (it sounds cheesy but it is a miracle), seeing them in ultrasounds, hearing their heartbeat, etc.  I'm impatient to meet and hold him, but I know that right now is the closest that the two of us will ever be.

-Sensitive skin galore, but no new stretch marks (hurray!)

The Sterilization Issue

I thought I should follow up on my last post about meeting with the consultant.  The specialist who is overseeing my maternity care offered to sterilize me while I'm already cut open for the Cesarean.

I was not expecting him to discuss this and my immediate response was to say no.

After thinking about it further and discussing it with my husband, we definitely decided against it.  Even though I think this will be our last kid, neither of us felt right about me being sterilized (for multiple reasons).

At my next appointment with my midwife, I mentioned it.  She said that the doctor had offered to sterilize some of her other patients as well.  In the midwife's opinion, this was a really bad idea for several reasons.  First of all, it's not fair to ask a pregnant woman to make that decision.  Secondly, the failure rate for sterilizations performed during c-sections is pretty high.  In other words, there's a higher than normal chance that it won't even work.  Thirdly, it makes recovery even more complicated and delays the time until the mother is able to hold/breastfeed/bond with/care for their newborn baby.

Logically, I can understand why it was offered to me.  I don't have a great birth track record as I've had 2 c-sections already (one an emergency and one a no-alternative elective) and an ectopic pregnancy.  Emotionally and morally, though, I feel that it was wrong to suddenly push that decision upon me.  It particularly bothers me that there was no preparation for that discussion and no further information given about it.  Normally for a medical procedure you'll be given information to study beforehand and be able to make an informed decision.  This was a surprise. 

Women who have c-sections often struggle with mixed feelings as it is.  Pregnancy and giving birth is supposed to be such a natural process.  It is, after all, what our bodies are meant to do.  When you have to have a c-section, it can leave you feeling inadequate or like a failure.  It can completely change your birth experience and the way that you begin motherhood (not to mention that the recovery influences your first weeks with your baby).  I'm grateful that they are able to do c-sections as I couldn't have had my kids otherwise.  However, it's taken me awhile to feel completely at peace with having sections.  I really don't need the added emotional baggage of being sterilized at the same time, and I imagine most women would find it difficult as well (even if they want the birth control).

Talking to the Specialist

We recently met with the specialist who is overseeing my pregnancy care.  I also have a midwife that I regularly see, and have met with different doctors in the specialist's team.  He's the one ultimately in charge of my care, though, and who will be responsible for the birth. 

This was our last meeting with the specialist before the birth, and we got to schedule the C-section.  Most of the appointment was pretty standard and exactly what I expected (I had the same specialist with Angel and with the ectopic pregnancy, so I'm used to him, plus this will be my 3rd C-section).  One thing he said was completely unexpected though.  He offered, while I was already open on the operating table for the section, to go ahead and sterilize me.

I think that was his not-so-subtle way of saying I shouldn't have any more kids.

Even though we're pretty sure that this will be our last baby, neither my husband nor I really feel comfortable with this option.  I also feel like it was kind of sprung on us without a lot of discussion or information or time to think it over.  We said no thanks.

Have any of you been given this option?  What did you do?

32 Weeks Pregnant & Having Heartburn

Things that give me heartburn:
*bending or leaning over (if standing or sitting)
*changing positions/rolling over (if lying down)
*not eating for too long
*eating peanut butter, oats, mint, or anything acidic (vinegar, citrus fruits, tomatoes, etc.)

OK, that's probably not a complete list, but you get the idea.  I seem to have heartburn most of the time these days, and it gets so ridiculous that it wakes me up at night.  Tums and other antacids seem to be my constant companion.  The problem is that--being pregnant--I'm only allowed to take a limited number of them a day.  So I try to ration them out for when it gets really bad.

If all the old wives' tales (and my first two pregnancies) are to be trusted, this baby is going to be born with a head full of hair.

31 Weeks

Ever wonder what a pregnant woman looks like when she lies down during the last trimester?  This is not, in fact, a beached whale or small mountain range.  This is me at 31 weeks.

Sinking In

Today is the first day of my last trimester!  Hard to believe isn't it?

As the birth of our new baby gets closer, I've been thinking more about preparing our kids.  Princess (our kindergartner) understands a lot more and can remember when Angel was born.  She likes to tell me all of the things that she will do to help once the baby is born (sing him songs, get diapers for me, etc.).

I'm more concerned, though, about Angel.  She's just two and although she knows there's a baby in my tummy, I've worried about her understanding that the baby will eventually come out and be part of our family.  We've tried to let her see and interact with other babies and talk to her about it.  We've read books about babies and pregnancy at the library, and the girls have a book about becoming a big sister. (She mostly likes that book because the big sister gets an ice cream in it.)

Lately, though, I think it's starting to sink in more.  She has a doll that she's been dragging around with her and taking care of.  She's been calling it by the name we're going to use for our baby boy (no, I'm not sharing it here now, although my daughters do know what their little brother's going to be called).  Today, though, she said that wasn't his name anymore, because he was a real baby and not a doll.

I think it's still going to be a big adjustment for her, but I'm feeling more hopeful that she's starting to understand what's coming.

Sex During Pregnancy...Part 2

I blogged recently about sex during pregnancy, and promised to write more about specifics.  So here we go...sex during pregnancy part two.

Pregnancy will affect your sex life because your changing shape (meaning huge baby bump) will change what positions work the best.  For most couples, good old-fashioned missionary position is kind of the sexual norm.  After the first trimester, this position is pretty much out until after the baby's born.  So here's my look at what positions do work well during pregnancy.

Spooning: This is probably the best all-rounder position during pregnancy.  Since your partner's behind you, it means that your bump isn't an issue at all (so this position feels pretty much the same as it did before you got pregnant).  It doesn't put any pressure on you (meaning it's less likely to be uncomfortable or lead to heartburn) or on your partner (meaning you're not squashing him).  It's also a bit of a lazier position, so it's perfect for when you're tired during pregnancy but still want to get some.

Perk: It leaves his hands free ;)
Downside: You can't see each other or kiss.

On all fours/Doggy: Again, your partner's behind you so that pregnancy bump isn't an issue.  Basically, you get down on your knees and either your hands or elbows.  He kneels behind you.  This allows for really deep penetration so it's sure to be a big hit with your other half.

Perk: Easy to control tempo
Downside: Same as spooning

Woman on Top: This one's pretty self explanatory.  You get on top.  It's intimate because you can see each other.

Perk: Probably the best position for you to come
Downside: Also the most tiring for you

Obviously all of these tips are for hetero couples.  Here's why.  This is a blog, not a guide book.  I'm speaking from my experience, and my only partner is my husband.  These are tips for couples who are expecting and still want a great sex life too. (Yes, it is possible to be parents and lovers.)

Pregnancy Pictures

Picture taking seems to be a bit of an obsession among many pregnant women and their friends/families.  I admit that I've taken "bump" pictures before (a few of them are on this blog). 

I've seen some fantastic pregnancy pictures (click here to see an amazing bump picture) and some awful ones.

I'm curious.  What do you think makes a good (or bad) pregnancy portrait?  Do you have any good tips for taking bump pictures? Do you love or hate bump picture?

I'd really appreciate any feedback.  If you don't want to leave a comment on the blog, then you can email me at bloggingwithbump@gmail.com.

Sex During Pregnancy

If you're pregnant, obviously you've had sex at least once.  Yet somehow it seems that once you're pregnant, people assume that you're not getting any (at least not until after the baby's born and you've miraculously lost all of the baby weight).  Seriously.  Try shopping for maternity lingerie, for example.  It's ridiculously difficult to find maternity lingerie (and I mean actual lingerie and not just bra & knicker sets).  Most maternity bras are so ugly that even my grandmother probably wouldn't want to wear them.

So here's the deal.
Pregnancy does not mean celibacy.  In fact, pregnancy can be a very sexy time.  According to my husband, men find pregnant women sexy.  Let's face it: when is a woman more, well, womanly than when she's pregnant?  You're super curvy (not only your bump--most women's breasts get bigger and/or fuller during pregnancy too), and probably less self conscious than normal (I don't have to worry about my "wobbly bits", as Bridget Jones would put it).

So let's talk about sex during pregnancy.

Yes, pregnancy hormones can affect your sex life, and they can have a major impact on your libido.  This isn't always a bad thing.  In my first pregnancy, I was seriously horny pretty much all of the time.  That's right.  You hear about pregnancy being less sexy because you're tired and feeling sick etc.  Sometimes that's true.  Sometimes, though, being pregnancy will actually make you want it more.  Trust me, I know.  I think my husband started to get a little overwhelmed by the time our daughter was born because I was pretty much insatiable.

That's not always the case.  Thanks to pregnancy hormones during my second pregnancy, my sex drive was lower than normal.  However, I still had a sex drive, and we still enjoyed a good sex life. 

During my third pregnancy, I was tired at the beginning, but I was happy and excited.  My husband and I enjoyed a lot of passionate sex during this time.  Unfortunately, that pregnancy ended too early.

Obviously it didn't take long for us to be at it again, as I got pregnant again very quickly (oops!).  My sex drive, to be honest, is about the same as it is when I'm not pregnant.  That's not to say that sex is exactly the same.  Changing shape means that different positions become better (I'll do a different post about the best sex positions during pregnancy).  Thanks to changing hormone levels, what feels fantastic one night may be disappointing the next (and vice versa).  Although I really enjoy love making (and cuddling and foreplay, etc), some nights it's harder to actually reach orgasm than others.

You know what, none of those things really matter.  If you and your partner love (and lust) each other, pregnant sex can be fabulous.

23 weeks pregnant

A la my new years resolution, I am going to try to be a more dependable blogger.  Not that reliability is necessarily a great trait for bloggers, as interesting and creative are probably more valuable traits, but at least it's something.  So we're about a week and a half into the new year, and I'm posting again.

I intended to do a little weekly pregnancy update on here.  Obviously, it hasn't happened, and I've just been posting willy-nilly about pregnancy and family topics as they've occurred to me and I had time.  If I'd paid less attention to willy and more to blogging, I'd probably have a lot more readers.  On the other hand, I probably wouldn't have a pregnancy blog.  (Sorry for the bad play on words. It wasn't planned, I promise.

My growing bump at 23 weeks

At any rate, I'm now 23 weeks pregnant.  This is about the point where babies are considered viable.  That means that if my baby were born now, he would have a fighting chance.  Still a small chance, though, so let's hope he stays put for awhile.  As both of his big sisters were late, I doubt that it will be a problem.

He is starting to get into more of an asleep/awake pattern, so that he'll move around for awhile and then be quiet for awhile at regular intervals.  Yes, I can feel him move around.  He even woke me up for the first time this week because apparently 3 am was a good time to have a party, or practice kick-boxing, or whatever it is babies do in there.  Ironically, as I'm writing this he just woke up and started kicking again.  In my head he's saying, "Are you talking about me again?"

To find out more about week 23 of pregnancy, click here or here.

Babble Bloggers

Every year Babble puts together a list of the best 50 "mom blogs".  There are some really great blogs on there that I have enjoyed looking at.  Also, some one nominated my little blogging project as their favorite.  Blogging with Bump is a long way from winning any awards, but I appreciate that some one has liked it.  If you want to give my blog the thumbs up with Babble as well, click here.