Wednesday, 17 August 2011

A Year Later

It's been a year now.  It's been a whole year since losing my baby in an ectopic pregnancy.

In some ways, it still seems so raw a wound.  I can think about him unexpectedly and get swaddled in grief for the baby that I didn't get to hold.  I can't help but wonder "what if" at times.  He'd be walking by now.  A year later and it's still hard.

At the same time, the past year has brought more joy than I ever could have anticipated.  I'm holding my beautiful healthy baby boy as I type, and now my family feels complete.  I've found peace and a certain level of acceptance if not understanding.

I have learned so much from each of my four children, including the one who's gone.  One of the things that he taught me is hope.

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